Comings and Goings
In high school, I was always a bit odd looking. Let me reference a Jon Stewart quote to explain: ”I was quite a catch. Less than five feet tall, yet my head was the same size it is now. Didn’t even really look like a head, it looked more like a container for a head. I looked like a Peanuts character. Peanuts characters had terrible acne. But what I lacked in looks I made up for with a repugnant personality.”
Needless to say, being in that same category, I was basically invisible. Whats interesting I think about life is that in some ways you see yourself in the same way later in life long after things have changed. I’ve cleaned up a little bit since then, not as geeky (or at least I’d like to think so!), don’t wear white socks with black shoes anymore, etc. I’m by no means a matinee idol, but I’m not the same as I was back then. The reason I mention all this is I decided to go to college a few years later than I would have normally. And I would go to parties like everyone does, and occasionally a girl would look my direction. My first thoughts basically in order were: did i do something wrong, wait am i supposed to recognize her and say hello, let me look behind me in case she’s looking/noticing someone else, should i check to see if i left fly open. I simply could not/would not believe anyone would find me remotely attractive. It was a shock to me. And I’m not saying this out of this arrogance or that it happens all the time; just that for it to happen at all, was simply unimaginable. The more I was at college, the more normal this became…but I always sort of laughed to myself like I could not believe any of this was happening.
Recently, I have experienced something similar. I’ve always been somewhat short - on a good day, I’m about 5’8”. I never really thought about it much. Then I came to India. It is really something to be on line at a supermarket, and be able to see over the top of everyone. I’m like- wow- this is what its like , huh? I don’t have to crane my neck to the side or anything. Hey nice bald spot! People actually tell me to watch my head when I’m walking in a tight passageway or I might bump my head! Once again, I’m in a situation that is completely foreign to me.
Just found it interesting how time and circumstance introduce these kinds of changes. Perhaps you have similar examples in your life.
