FB Page
Ran across a very interesting Facebook Page called “How to Deal with Whites”. An interesting subject especially since the author himself is perhaps borderline; Jewish- which can be mistaken for white but has a different heritage and culture.
I instantly took to the idea of this book, though I haven’t read it yet. Why? We are so squeamish to talk about whites. Even saying it sounds absurd. It makes us uncomfortable to talk about people in racial terms. Especially the dominant race. Saying the wrong thing can have consequence, and it goes well beyond whatever immediate effects may be. What am I talking about?
Let’s say you are white. And you dislike blacks. Harboring that attitude has little effect on daily life. It takes a minor amount effort to avoid blacks in public (you spend time with white friends), you avoid stores that have black cashiers (again, not much sacrifice), you change the channel when the basketball game comes on. A little inconvenience, yes. A little more work and a little paranoia, but generally your daily life isn’t upset very much.
Now let’s say you’re a black person who doesn’t like whites. Let’s say you carry that attitude around with you by day. You look at the newspaper- who’s in it? You get excited about that new movie that comes out- who’s starring in it? You buy a book for your child- who wrote it? You go out for lunch- who’s taking your order? What race is your boss and your co-workers? Is it even possible to be apprehensive towards such people where they are ubiquitious in your life? Contrary to CW, most minorities don’t live in minority-majority enclaves. They must co-exist with whites in all facets of their life- at the dental office, at the store, in their neighborhood. (It goes beyond this into the mental realm where narratives that have been placed in our minds since nursery school, but I’ll leave this be for now). A black person might harbor a few resentments in the back of his mind, but to the extent it is central for him- that negative vibe will be sensed by a white boss who would pass him over for a promotion, by the bartender who’ll serve him last — not because he’s a minority alone but because people reciprocate negativity. Point is: as a minority, you can’t really make it through daily life in America with a negative or even apprehensive nature towards whites. You will go insane. Even someone who could compartmentalize their emotions efficiently would have trouble with the pragmatic need to appease, please, socialize effectively, and work with and for whites on a daily basis.
The response of minorities in the face of this is simple- accomodation. Just as we accomodate gravity since we have no hope to change it, we also acknowledge and reconcile ourselves to the fact that white influence in our lives is a constant that since it cannot be changed, must be made as palatable as possible. What follows is a kind of rationalization and justification for the behavior of whites. But this isn’t enough. If it ended at tolerance, but you could content yourself with holding a different set of values with pride, that would be that. To truly be accepted into America, as a minority, you must blend in. Your attitudes towards everything from music to how to interact in social settings must largely coincide with the white majority of your peer/age group. Step outside the acceptable range of behavior, mannerisms, and attitudes and you will find yourself slowly but surely drifting out of the comfort range of much of the people you interact with. You will notice the simple disagreements in conversation where a stated preference for how to spend the weekend, judgment on a certain policy at work, or which band you’re listening to is met with disapproval, if subtle, and the gap can widen to the point where there is simply a disconnect between two people. Befriending people in your social life and impressing colleagues at work becomes all the more difficult when you are not on the same “wavelength” as whites. Minorities compelled to harmonize in such a fashion- often without even recognizing that is with they are doing - then are truly at a loss to critique or even interpret white behavior.
What is white behavior? I don’t know exactly- and so I plan to read the book to get some ideas. The book Stuff White People Like has been eye-opening. I’ve heard minorities joke that while it made them laugh (whites as well), minorities actually do use it as a means to build bridges with white people. I’m hoping How to Deal with Whites is insightful as well. We all know that generalizations are imperfect and relying on them too much is unhelpful. That said, there is in fact a culture to be recognized in America, which isn’t identical with American culture (though unfortunately thought to be synonymous) — it is white culture. They are not one and the same. Will write more on this later once I’ve had a chance to read the book….
